Fnurg

What Fnurg is
The worst place you could ever go. A bald hell beyond mortal understanding...

Home to such creations as the joy emote gallery, the crusade on darklion, and the common use of "bald," anything touched by Fnurg is forever corrupted.

If somebody asks if you want to join Fnurg, the choice is yours, but it is highly suggested to say no. Someone who does decide to join Fnurg is called a Fnurger.

Common Practice
Among Fnurgers, calling each other Bald is almost something of a greeting. When annoyed, or bothered, you may call something or someone bald as an insult

Another common practice in Fnurg is to add to the chain channels, #fnurg, and #ok. This is a sacred duty that once broken will have you banished. Furthermore, many Fnurg members make sure to beg for #bald at least once a week.

Goob
The lore of Goob is often difficult to pinpoint. Most amount to him being something of a god, followers of Goob are called Goobites.

Goob Loading Screen
The Goob Loading Screen is an ancient holy text of some of the finest wisdom Goob has offered his subjects. Loading Screen tips always end in 🙏🕋, which has become a common suffix used to show that a statement is wise.

Tips
Loading Screen Tip #1: Ending a thought with 🙏🕋 immediately makes it good advice 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #2: When one lashes out towards others in response to the realization of their lack of hair, the only result can be greater emptiness in their mind, not only an emptiness on their head 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #3: Be on guard for the truth of any statement you hear 🙏🕋, opening yourself to deception is sure to lead you to all kinds of harm. Even when you see, heathens may try to use the teachings of Goob to deceive you, do not let your faith be clouded. 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #4: Now that you are all here, you are all bald. Even I myself am not an exception to this very basic rule. All who step foot in Fnurg are Bald, that is fact, but you must not resent what you have lost, instead accept your hair loss and embrace the principles of goob to repair your broken personality. 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #5: Let not your pride be injured in the land of the bald. Remember to look within the statements you see for the true will of the thought. Often the non-faithful have fallen from the bald glory of Fnurg because of statements said in jest being taken with full seriousness. Let not your insight be unsure. 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #6: Tread carefully when selecting your statements, not every exchange will be worth the time of thorough response. Before you speak think: is there really any need? 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #7: Literal Baldness is not what happens to all of they who Fnurg; our baldness is but a state of being, a mindset if you will. Do with your hair loss what you will, but remember that it is perfectly natural and not something that must be changed, our mission to kill all baldies is but a mission to better ourselves past Fnurg of old. 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #8: To check #nsfw-shit with other people in the room is a Fnurger's greatest blunder. 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #9: Legends say that miracles happen in the moment that there are 2 #rules-and-info-stuffs visible to everyone, the mid-swap miracle is said to be able to change your life, for better or for worse. 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #10: In one's quest to eradicate all baldies from this world, one must come to terms with their existence. If a Fnurger is truly to participate in the Fnurg Purge of Balds: the Fnurge, The Fnurger themself must also be purged if the world is to truly be rid of hair loss. 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #11: The land of the bald is all accepting, no need to push others out, no need to feel like you do not belong. All have room in the personal hell custom made as Fnurg. 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #12: In times of unclear action, remember the important aspects of a decision: Is it worth your time? Does it benefit you to do so? What would the concequences be? These are the kinds of questions you must ask before you make a decision, it will make your time in the realm of the bald greatly preferable to that time during which you do not. 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #13: In the event of a baldy being messed with, you must consider a boundary. This boundary is, as realized, not apparent to all who participate in Fnurging. This boundary is what makes the borders of Fnurging and being an annoyance. Before participating in group activity messing with people, it is of utmost importance to understand that should you go too far in your activity, it is important to vary what you are doing or simply stop altogether. It would be a far greater outcome than becoming what you swore to destroy: bald 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #14: Just because something is similar in concept to another does not mean that they cannot coexist in good faith. Simply because there is another similar idea is no reason to think of one's more familiar one to be superior, all powers of dual emote use are equal, 🙏🕋 or otherwise 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #15: Do not refuse the concepts of Goob simply because you do not understand his words. To reject any idea you do not understand is a great blunder, and one you have been urged not to make 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #16: There are many questions that you may think you want the answers to, there are an equal number of questions that you are not ready for the answers to. Does anything around you exist? The only thing one can confirm is their own existence, so it is not worth pursuing such an answer, often a simple unknown is a better answer than eternal torment, but it is often not so clear 🙏🕋

Loading Screen Tip #17: When time comes for a new change that is not appreciated, keep in mind the simple fact that your acclimation to the concept will be nearly equal to how things were before, by the time it becomes the way you are used to, it will be almost as if the old ways never existed to begin with. Sometimes such even when you are trying to recall how they were. Puzzling indeed, but reassuring in times of annoyance at change 🙏🕋

Fnurgantheon
A Project of great importance, to record all the holy practices of Fnurg and history into one tome of knowledge. To be done by Goob whenever his duties cease to where he can take on such a task. Many have been long awaiting the Fnurgantheon, and it is commonly requested in Fnurg, some have given up hope entirely, but it will likely be made at some point in Fnurg's life.

Alice Loading Screen
The Alice loading screen is created by Alice obviously :juy:. Alice teaches the local fnurgers to do chaos and ends every tip ends with 📳🦓. This shows that the tip is extremely on the political zebra.

Loading Screen Tip #1: Ending a thought in 📳🦓 grants me strength beyond measure. Run as much as you want, I only have to catch you once. 📳🦓

Loading Screen Tip #2: Horses are the enemy. Don't be tricked by their charade. 📳🦓

Loading Screen Tip #3: If you are questioning the validity of any of these statements, know that it doesn't matter. It'll all be the same in the end. They'll find you, pray that they make it quick. 📳🦓

Loading Screen Tip #4: Do not take after our idol, for that would be a disgrace to Its glory. A mane full of hair that we shall never attain, and a wondrous rumbling beneath its feet. You are bald and you are silent, do not trick yourself. 📳🦓

Loading Screen Tip #5: There are none weaker than us. Accept your place beside the dirt, and writhe amongst the worms. 📳🦓

Loading Screen Tip #6: Tread carefully. 📳🦓

Loading Screen Tip #7: There are the wise, and there are the unwise. You may try to spread Our teachings, but do not hate those who refuse them. When the time comes, you shall see the reason. 📳🦓

Loading Screen Tip #8: Do not look a Horse in the mouth, regardless of its status as a gift. It will look back, and you will wish you heeded Our warning. 📳🦓

Loading Screen Tip #9: The ancient texts say that when the day befalls us, one shall be spared. Do not seek this out. An existence amongst yourself may as well be an absence of all. Instead, hope that you are cut down with the masses; a single drop in the oceans of blood. The Beyond may be more kind. 📳🦓

Loading Screen Tip #10: Be silent to their suffering, clamp your hands over your ears when their screams are upon you. They are not who you remember, their pain is not yours to bear, this is the way things were meant to be. 📳🦓

Loading Screen Tip #11: I am but an emissary, with a fraction of The Idol's magnificence. The draining of my form shall bring about the salvation of all when the day is upon us. Do not attribute anything to me. Though I may be the last that you see, know that it was The Idol that granted you this. 📳🦓

Loading Screen Tip #12: In times of unclear action, try to remember. Forgotten memories are left to the Horses, a tool for them to harness when the time comes. You will believe they are on your side, that they have devoted themselves to The Idol's glory, but you must heed the warnings We have so kindly given you. 📳🦓

Creation of Fnurg
The Creation of Fnurg was an interesting time indeed. C-moon, tyrant of Screaming Every Saturday, made a new place to use, however it never picked up with the Screamers, so it was gifted to Bananga Peeploop, who then passed this land on to Goob, who decided to create a new hell for fun, truly sick.

Dark Age of Politics
An era of pure toxicity unrivaled by any period of Fnurg to date. Conversations would always end in 5 hour long Political spats between factions. Typically started by Reaperbunny, FrankSue, Gangnam Crusader, or Kaiser (see Notable Fnurgers), these spats were unstoppable by any action taken. Few dared speak for the risk of offense was far too high.

Rebirth
Rediscovering the Bald teachings of Goob, Fnurgers reached an era of peace in which they were free to Fnurg in peace. Many Enjoyable events during this period.

Darklion Crusade
Began with Reaper, post-leaving, sending the for Fnurgers to join a server, which Goob, and gangnam checked out before deciding to infect it with Fnurg. Ended up with treachery from within when somebody leaked information from Fnurg to the lord of this baldland. Turned out to be Ostenta and Benson. Very fun for people on the disconnected end, like Goob and Bananga, however for everyone else it was misbehavior on your land or a whodunnit to find out who leaked.

Fat Lesbian
A bunch of Fnurgers made a joke about sending reaperbunny a message that simply said "fat lesbian." but she had a hissy fit and decided to become a narc, snitching to multiple server owners about this getting a few of the people banned. This included darklion, leading to some of lion's most unreasonable, and easily mockable moments, such as calling a bi person homophobic, calling goob "gone" as if she didn't just type his name out correctly, and banning 6 people in a row for no good reason. Not unexpected just notable.

Loading Screen boom
It started when alice got her own loading screen. When that attempt at a new loading screen was successful, everybody else started pleading goob to give them their own loading screen. Goob declined everybody and since this is fnurg and nobody listens to no, they started putting 2 emojis that made no sense being together. Eventually, people just started making their own loading screen tips in general.

Goob
Creator of Fnurg, some may call him a god, some simply refer to him as bald, but the fact of the matter is that Goob is everything, and Goob is Bald because he created Fnurg, thus all things are bald.

Gangnam Crusader
A crusader for the ways of Gangnam Style, started the use of Bald as a holy word. Known for such profound wisdom as "stfu retards"

Rios
Deemed the most bald of them all by most of Fnurg, Rios is the butt of most jokes among Fnurgers. Almost entirely associated with the term Bald. Rios is also known for being sexually attracted to American football.

Reaperbunny
Known for being balder than the most bald, beating Rios by a mile. Pinnacle of Political toxicity during the Dark Age, she is Bri'ish and the ultimate Bald. Often the secondary Butt of Fnurgite jokes after Rios. Known for such phrases as "Kill awl men," "This is why youah moi favori'e," and "Oi Hate Americans." Left and Rejoined the server tons of times, (none have dared counting), but finally decided on permanently leaving (rejoin pending). Also had a remarkable addiction to Monster Energy and Edgy goth e-girl clothing.

FrankSue
Disagreed with Reaper in many areas of Political belief, often one of the first to engage with Reaper during Dark age arguments. Banned afterward due to safety problems from another server

Kaiser
Often sided with Frank against Reaper, leading to a more toxic nature of political arguments (to no direct fault of his own), now simply Fnurgs in peace with Reaper gone.

Shoob
Almost completes Goob, commonly liked by most Fnurgers, he was there when Gangnam first said Bald in hell and has been a great Baldy ever since.

Ostenta
Majorly Distrusted by most Fnurgers active in the Darklion Crusades, he is known by many as a "Snitch" in the words of the great Gangnam Crusader for his deeds of leaking information directly from Fnurg to Darklion himself. He also actively lied to most fnurgers about no longer feeling bad, making him this years biggest narc.

SkullSoul0
Known for constant horniness and throwing a hissy fit every month, Skull is what most consider to be "bald". He threw many hissy fits over unusual reasons and his worst was on the 15th of May, 2021. On that day he spammed in all caps, called most people active at the time "fat redditors", said hypocritical shit, spammed images and gifs, and was doing it all genuinely. Many have tried to speculate if he has ever made a funny joke before. Most turn out with the answer that no, it was never funny. Lamentable indeed

NovaRunic
Only Fnurger to get Banned from Fnurg for legitimate reasons. Has not improved since.

BanangaPeeploop
Once the owner of "The server done right" before it became Fnurg, Bananga is known for leaving and rejoining the server 40 times every 3 seconds, his speed of indecisiveness is unmatched in this realm.

Oleander
Fairly inactive fnurg user who only really shows up to send a truck emoji every once and a while.

Zugman
always watching

Barry B. Benson
One who leaked to darklion after ostenta, he felt serious regret to the "harm" he caused to the fellow fnurgers. To make up for it, he made darklion quit discord for a while (April 1-8, 2021) and then finally took her server and made it great

Bowmanimmortal
Happy birthday!!!

FMCS
The mystery of FMCS is one yet to be solved by most fnurgers, but the legends of it's time have been told many times. sometimes it is said that the old location has been repurposed, some think it never existed, and some never even bothered thinking about it. Regardless, information about it is quite rare.